| re·al·i·za·tion - the making or being made real of something imagined, planned, etc.
behind. behind again. i feel that my whole life has been a game of 2 steps forward, 1 step back. i've mastered the dance, i can't be beat. in all of this crazy mess of what i'd like to call a tango but too often comes out as a half of a line dance with misconstrued footwork, i've realize that it's not 2 steps forward and 1 step back. it's all about structure and faith and realizing that it may be my dance but i'm not the choreographer. i didn't write the dance, it's not up to me whether or not i keep running forward. and maybe, just maybe this is where i'm told to slow down, keep a steady pace, it'll come to you, maybe not as quickly as you'd like but it's on it's way to delivery. in all of this, i've realized while i have to stay for longer than i'd like this is my opportunity to create things and be things i never had the time to be. to step out of my comfort zone and be somebody with nobody. this is where i become who i have always known myself to be without the direct motivation to search and seek it out. this is where it starts. this is n o w . . .
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| this mystery of self indulgence
has left me paralyzed and numb
emotions are nonexistent
tears are yet to fall
it's vacant behind these
pain stricken colors
and these walls are closing in
as breaths become more shallow
not yet gasping
the night is as black
as the cold feel of steal
panic sets in
breaths become shorter
holding on
for what seems like an eternity
calling out for something greater
please save my soul tonight
... emotion.
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| looking out into the fields
of pretty flowers
tall corn stalks
and overflowing success
i ponder the thoughts
running rampant through my head
and i realize
i'm stronger now than i was
i'm better now than i was
i'm more me, now
than i ever have been
i'm standing on solid ground
with a solid foundation of faith
i will not be broken
i will not fall
for with god as my strength
i will conquer all things.
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| last night...
last night i got a new heart
and i'm standing on top of the world
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| maybe i'm so simple that it's complicated.
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